SUPER SUNDAY!!!

So how was your Superbowl Sunday?  Mine didn't go as planned, but turned out well in the end.  It also provided a great opportunity to co-parent.

The plan - Get all my chores done and catch up on some work things by 4:00pm.  Cook up some wings and pizza by the time the boys come back to me at 6:00pm, watch the Superbowl with my kids (which just happens to end right at bed time).

What really happened:

I do get most chores done, that's good.  Their mother texts me at 10am to ask if I want to go to Subway Sunday with them!  GREAT!!!  I get a few more hours with my boys.  I go back home and finish up on chores, then the break in the plan happens.  At 3:30pm I get the call that Coleman (my oldest) is not feeling well, his throat is really bothering him.  We head to the local CareNow clinic to get some antibiotics.  It turns out he has strep throat.  Drats.  We get home in time to watch the game, but overall his mood is just not the same.  He will get another day off of school tomorrow (something he really doesn't want or need).

Then the great opportunity for co-parenting.  See in our arrangement, no one pays any child support.  All child care costs are split evenly.  Actually, she pays me $308 a month even out the expenses.  See, I pay for Life Insurance, Auto Insurance, and Afterschool care.  She pays for Health and Dental Insurance.  The difference is $308. 

No here is the co-parenting moment - Take the $308 that she owes me, add $17 for a split in Tax Software, add $20 for a little bet we had that I won.  No take off half of the doctor visit and half of the prescription, now she owes me $305. 

Overall a great day in the end (except for my Coleman who is just not feeling his best), and two great opportunities to put the kids first ahead of our own personal concerns. (Lunch and Medical Payments)

How did you spend your Super Sunday?

SNOW DAY!!!

It's that time of year when we here in Texas get a day off.  Being a teacher, a well positioned snow day can be a great thing.  This year however...let's just say it got out of control.

Snow Day 1

My Snowy House

This was a welcomed day off, at least I didn't want to have to deal with the cold today.  I got to sleep in, do some serious house cleaning, visit the boys for a few hours (they were at their mother's) and get some paperwork for school completed.  Not a bad day.  It will be good to get back to work tomorrow.

Snow Day 2

2nd day of icy streets

Living in Texas means the snow melts almost as fast as it hits the ground, right?  NOT THIS YEAR.  Today we woke up to some really nasty roads.  Worse then the day before, what was snow is now a 2"-3" plate of ice.  I really wish I had learned how to ice skate.  Well, at least I got in a few meetings today about a possible business opportunity.  The boys come back to me this afternoon, but we do little other then watch a few movies.

Snow Day 3

My youngest sliding down a driveway!

Now this is just getting ridiculous.  Three Days!!!  This is my 11th year in this area, we have never had 3 days off of school before.  What a waste educationally this week has become.  The boys do an immense amount of play in the snow today.  Their mother comes over at 4 to work on her taxes, then we take the boys out for our traditional Thursday dinner out.  That was an interesting drive. 

Snow Day 4

The boys and grandma with their creation

Well, school is done for this week.  We got several inches of snow overnight.  The boys built a snowman with their grandmother while I shoveled the snow off the walkways.  They played outside for several hours today.  And other then updating this blog, well, I did NOTHING, and it felt GREAT! 

According to the weather man this will all be gone by the end of the day tomorrow.  We will just be left with a soggy mess.  Bye, Bye to snow days of 2011.  Also bye, bye to Memorial Day holidays, Good Friday and any other holiday we had left this year. 

A great few days off...Hope everyone involved with it had some fun!

Co-Parenting Rule #3 - Compromise

This is such an easy concept, but very hard for some people to accomplish.  Especially someone they have "baggage" with.

Let's look at the situation that brought this post on.

So, about 2 months ago, I mentioned to my ex that I wanted to take the boys camping at the start of our spring break.  Now here is how the custody schedule works out for spring break this year:

         SUN        MON       TUES       WED        THURS       FRI        SAT

         MOM      MOM      MOM        DAD       DAD           MOM     MOM

Typically on spring breaks and the such, we have an agreement to allow the child one more day at the parent's that have only two days of visitation.  So in this case, I would get an extra day.  I wanted to use it on the Sunday (I have them the preceding Friday and Saturday).  This would enable us to go camping Saturday morning and come back Monday afternoon, just in time to go back to Mom's smelling like the great outdoors!!!  She agreed that is sounded fine and to just be careful (just a note, she has sent them back to me injured more times then I have sent them to her injured, kinda funny).

Well, about a week ago, she wanted to know if we could change plans.  At first it kinda pissed me off, I had already planned the trip (hadn't made reservations yet however) and it's kinda become a tradition that we go camping right out of the shoot for spring break.  But, as to not start a fight, I asked her what she had in mind.  She wanted to move my extra day to Friday night, she even offered up them coming to me early on Wednesday.  I was willing to give in then, she gets her dates (based around travel plans) and i get a few extra hours with my boys over the break.  Compromise. 

I am a planner, and I could have dug my heels in.  In the end she could have just said no extra day to you, but instead compromise got me more time!

Have a great day, and if you're in North Texas enjoy the end of the snow!

Check this out!!!

Here is a great blog post by Dan.  Check it out:

"I want it fast and now" syndrome

Reasons to be THANKFUL!!!!

I seem to be surrounded daily by a lot of negative people or at least people that tend to lean toward the negative things.  You know, the ones that the world is always coming to an end.  Every situation becomes tense around them.  So I decided to write down a few things that I am THANKFUL for:

1.  My Boys - They are the best thing in my life.  Even through all of the noise, sicknesses, messy rooms, homework, ect.  they are still the delight of my life everyday.  They make everyday better.

2.  I love my job.  I get to work with some of the most talented kids!

3.  I have great friends.  I would say that I have only a select few great friends, but those that I have are great.  When I have needed someone to lean on, they have been there for me.

4.  Although money is tight, I have been able to make all payments to the house, credit cards, car, ect.  I even have a plan to get out of the mess I have gotten myself into.

This is just a start of this list.  There are many things to be thankful for every day. 

What are you thankful for? 

  

What to do when the kids are at mom's for the weekend?

I'm sure we have all had that feeling, what am I to do this weekend?  I choose to get as much busy work done as possible, you know the stuff that the kids complain about.

So on Friday evening, I descended upon the desk and got to work.

By the time I left home Sunday morning to get the bounce house for the previously mentioned party I had accomplished a great deal:

    - Work budget in order

    - Work inventory updated in computer system

    - Tax Return spending plan taken care of

    - Home budget for 2011 mapped out

    - Debt analysis for 2011-2012 mapped out (I plan on being debt free in 24 months)

    - Grocery shopping for the next week done

    - Coffee and Bible study with a great friend completed

    - Watched my oldest play his best basketball game to date

    - Planned out my teaching for the next week

    - Cleaned my office area and upstairs of my house

    - Washed, folded and put away all the laundry

See now that I am done with all of that, I am ready for the monsters to come back to dad's house and get some good play time in and it feels great to get stuff done.

Have a great day!



Co-parenting Rule #2 - Celebrate special days TOGETHER!!!

In the 3 years that me and my ex have been split, we have spent all of those "Special" days as a four person unit.  You know, mom, dad, 2 boys.  Well this years birthday for our youngest was no different. 



So my youngest's "Birthday Week"  started last Thursday.  He wanted spaghetti for his birthday dinner, so the four of us went to the local Italian place for pizza and spaghetti.  This was his actual birthday, so mom and I gave him his presents at dinner.  Friday evening Cooper spent the evening with the ex's new family. 

Sunday was the party day.  For the first time the party was at her house.  I picked up the bounce house on my way over and we spent the afternoon at party with the boys and their friends.

See, in this situation, everybody gets what they want and need.  Mom and Dad both get to spend the special day with their children and even more important, on Cooper's special day he had his both mom and dad by his side.

It was a great day!!

A Great Argument, Avoided!

You know there are always those times when you have to decide; Do I argue this one, or not.

When it comes to your children's other parent, the best choice is normally not.  Take the last 24 hours chain of events. 

Saturday afternoon - While I am at work (yes on a Saturday) their mother texts me and very graciously asks if I would like a few extra hours with the boys Sunday since I have to work next Friday and Saturday (my days with the boys next week). 

I respond, that sounds great!

Saturday evening - I go over to mom's house to get a few hugs with the boys (normal routine when they are at their mom's) and we settle on a time for them to come over.  We discuss that between 3:00 and 4:00pm would be a good time...aiming for 3:30pm.

Sunday - I get most of my Sunday chores done (see previous post) and head to the store for my weekly grocery shopping around 2:30, thinking I can fit it in, I still have an hour.  Well, she comes by at 3 to drop them off.  No text, no call.  Not a big deal, Grandma is there.  Everything should be fine.  Yet Mama is not a happy camper.  I was not there.  Apparently she leaves in quite a tiff.  I arrive home at 3:25 to discover all this and have two choices, call her and ask why she is so angry or just let it disappear. 

I choose option 2.  In fact, when she calls that evening to say good night to the boys still sounding a bit perturbed at the situation, I completely change gears and talk about the upcoming birthday party for our youngest and how to work out the spending for the party.  I take that opportunity to even throw in a "Why don't I just take care of the bounce house, remind me to order it tomorrow."

Instead of firing back a comment that she would never agree on, I chose to deflect the issue, take some of the birthday party pressure off of her and throw her a bone with the reminder request.  She gets to hang up the phone with a completely different mindset then "Why weren't you home"

Any thoughts, comments?

The Sunday Routine

The Sunday Routine...The Sunday before my children get to come back to my house that is.  This is a twice a month occurrence. 

So, here is what takes place before my children come over:
  1.  General housekeeping - vacuum, clean the bathrooms, ect.
  2.  Laundry
  3.  Check the monthly budget and pay any bills that need to be paid
  4.  Plan the meals for the week
  5.  Laundry...wash and put away
  6.  Yard work (during the spring and summer)
  7.  Grocery shopping
  8.  Spelling homework printed out and ready for review.
  9.  Dinner prepared so it is ready when they walk through the doors at 6pm

I try my best to get all of this done before they arrive, this way they get full dad time when they get here.  Even then it is dinner, spelling review, 30 minutes of reading and showers all before bed.

You gotta have a game plan when when you are a single parent!
 

New Year's Eve Trip!

So our last trip of 2010 and first trip of 2011 has been completed.  Success or failure?  I rate it a success.

This was going to be a trip to see my brother's family (brother, finance, 2 boys) for the new year.  Now taking to young boys on a 4 hour car ride is not the most enviable task ever.  So first I had to think about the drive.  We would be driving most of the way in the dark.

     1.  DVD  player - Loaded

     2.  Nintendo DS's - Charged and ready to go

     3.  Snacks and drinks for the drive - Check

Once the inside of the truck was loaded, gotta check for the extra things to go in the back. 

    1.  Bikes - Loaded

    2.  Scooters - Loaded

    3.  Helmets - Loaded

    4.  Sleeping Bags - Loaded (you never know if there with be enough places to sleep)

Now it's time to get on the road.  The trip there, although late in departure, was great.  Dinner once we arrived, great.  Four boys playing together - OK, at least they didn't break anything.

Our time at my brother's house was pretty good.  The boys rode their bikes, scooters and played video games.  The adults rode bikes, watched college football games and celebrated a little on New Year's Eve. 

Our first real snag came on the way home.  I had planned to eat dinner at a BBQ place about 2.5 hours into the trip home.  Well, they decided to close early on New Year's day.  The boys were looking forward to it the whole way home.  So when we pulled into the parking lot of a dark BBQ place I had to think quick.  I noticed there were several other eating establishments in the area, so I told the boys look around and pick your favorite place.  Luckily we came to an agreement quickly. 

We were still home in plenty of time for mom to come by and see the boys for a few minutes before bedtime.

Overall a great trip.  One thing I learned quickly about trips with my children - Over Prepare.  Bring more things to do then you ever think you will need.  Especially when the plans are just to relax.  Bored children are not a fun thing to deal with and I never like the "Why didn't we bring _______?"

Happy New Year to everyone.  I hope 2011 is a great year for all.